Parenthood – the good the bad and the ugly

Life has a natural progression for many of us. We search for the one. We join our lives and set out on a path of ultimate happiness. The wedding fills us with deep anticipation for where our lives will lead.

We dream of having children. They will complete us. They will give us a sense of overwhelming accomplishment. It’s our destiny.

Well, I’m here to tell you that this path is not for everyone. There are many things you can’t possibly fathom before you embark on this journey of parenthood.

You look at all the Johnson and Johnson ads, the huggies mums with big, knowing smiles. Their perfect white teeth, immaculately groomed hair, their flawless houses. Ha!

Pregnancy is different for everyone. For me, it was hell on earth.
The moment I looked down on that positive pregnancy test, I could not have been happier. This was what I had been waiting for. This was going to fulfil me completely.

By 6 weeks the morning sickness kicked in. I vomited for 10 weeks straight. I couldn’t get out of bed. I couldn’t even sit up and watch TV. I couldn’t even think about meat, let alone prepare a meal. After the morning sickness eased a little I started to get severe back pain. I had massages every second week to help with the pain.

The best thing for me about my pregnancy was feeling my baby kick. I loved it. She used to get the hiccups all the time too. It was adorable. I couldn’t wait to meet my beautiful daughter.

I’ll skip past the birth. As you can imagine, it hurts. Ha-ha. For me, it wasn’t too bad as far as labour stories go and for that I am grateful. I was thankfully able to get through without taking any pain relief. It’s amazing what the female body can endure. We really are amazing fellas

Seeing your baby for the first time is amazing. You made that little person. Before I had my daughter I was told that I would experience this amazing euphoric wave wash over me upon first laying my eyes on her.
That is not the case for everyone and that’s ok. I really just wanted to have a shower and be comfortable. They also tell you that you need to breastfeed straight away.
Polly wasn’t interested. In fact breastfeeding for me was a nightmare. It took a good three weeks before it started to get some sort of rhythm. The sleep deprivation you experience with a new born baby, no one can prepare you for. You think you know what you’re in for? You don’t. I sure as hell didn’t.

You have a million hormones running around, your body is wrecked from giving birth and you have been handed a tiny, perfect human being that you are painfully aware that you are 100% responsible for keeping alive. They rely on you for every need. You do what you have to, to keep them alive. Your needs are not first anymore. Perhaps they never will be again.

You will soon find out how you can actually survive with hardly any sleep. I mean, the most sleep I ever got in a row was 1 hour and 20 minutes. I used to dream of what it would be like to get a full 3 hour sleep.

I cried. A lot. I cried because I was tired, I cried the first time I drove to the chemist without her, I cried because I was worried she wasn’t getting enough milk, she wasn’t putting on enough weight, I cried because I felt pressure to perform a certain way. After all I was born to do this wasn’t I? This was totally natural to women. No one else complains about it publically so there must be something specifically wrong with me!
Actually, I was doing an amazing job. I was nurturing this perfect baby girl that I love more than I ever thought humanly possible. She was mine. I was doing great. I was learning the true meaning of sacrifice.

As the time goes on, the breastfeeding got easier, I would slowly get slightly more sleep, she was growing into such an amazing baby girl more and more as each day passed.

Then the mourning period hits you. You mourn your old life. You realise your life is now not your own. You are not first anymore. Any time you want to go anyway it requires careful planning. You can’t have that spontaneous weekend away with your husband you use to once enjoy. You can barely do your hair or shower in peace. That was a luxury. It’s amazing what you take for granted.

Of course it’s all worth it right? Well, I tell you this. I would not send my girl back for anything. She brings me so much joy. She makes me laugh. She has my whole heart.

This is the harsh truth people don’t talk about.

I miss my freedom
I miss feeling independent
I miss those spontaneous trips
I miss going to the movies with my husband
I miss the relationship I had with my husband before having a child
I miss sleeping in and staying up late
I miss being able to play my piano
I miss being able to be around people and just sitting down and relaxing

But I love

Hearing my baby girl giggle
Holding her hand
Giving her a million kisses
Reading to her
Playing with her
Talking to my husband about what things she has done that day that we love
I love thinking about all the things I am going to show her
All the places I am going to get to take her
She is my Joy. My Polly Joy.

Depression, Suicide, Robin Williams and what we can do about it...

When I was 17 years old, a friend of mine took his own life. It knocked me, deeply confusing me. I had been with him the night before. He was telling me of things he was looking forward to in the future. He seemed fine to me. He was the one who was always making us laugh. He left no note. No explanation. It was very difficult to come to terms with. It makes me really sad now thinking about how it is over 10 years on and the problems that he had then, whatever they may have been would of most likely been a distant memory. I do not know if it was a spur of the moment thing, or if he had depression and had been hurting deeply for quite some time. Masking it with his beautiful way of making everyone around him feel good. Back then I didn’t really understand depression at all. I remember driving around after the funeral with a couple of friends and talking about the feeling of wanting to kill yourself. When I said I had never experienced this feeling, I was met with shocked and disbelieving responses. I had experienced difficult times in my life, deep sadness and the feeling of being lost. But I had never considered taking my own life. Now, nearly 12 years on and I have a better understanding of depression and I have experienced the feeling of not wanting to be alive anymore. I now know what it is like to want to kill myself, to end it all. I believe there are different types of depression. Clinical/chemical depression and circumstantial depression. Both are real and have massive effect over your emotions, the way you live life, see yourself, the future and others. Something I didn’t know is that if you are depressed and it goes on too long it can affect the chemicals in your brain that are responsible for stabilising your emotions, your happiness etc. This is why it is important to seek treatment if you are feeling down for too long. Feeling as though you can’t get happy about anything, despair in every situation, you can’t look forward to anything, you are tired all the time, you don’t see a point or a purpose. Treatment may include medication or it may be exercise more, do something to ensure you laugh (they have workshops in laughter. Yes, it’s true), see a Counsellor, Psychologist, Psychiatrist, or just talk to someone you trust. There are lots of things you can try. You have to consciously be proactive in pulling yourself out of the depths of this pit that can drown you if you let it. Many people have been saddened at the passing of actor Robin Williams. It is a huge loss that has clearly impacted an enormous amount of people around the world. Annie asks “If this world is cruel enough that a soul as beautiful and uplifting as Robin Williams can’t survive in it, what are we, as a human race doing wrong?” This question has so many facets for me and I could really just write about it all day. There are a lot of extremely worrying and saddening things happening in the world at the moment and the feeling of despair for my fellow humans is greatly weighing on my heart also. Robin Williams did great things. He made us laugh. He lifted up our spirits when we were children, when we were teenagers and when we were adults. He will continue to do so with the legacy that he has left behind. Suicide is a very personal decision. A decision that is the result of a battle within ones mind. One that the people that they leave behind often struggle to understand. What’s important to remember is that everyone is fighting their own demons. In a way that is very real to them. This is why I believe it is important to always be as kind as you can be. Don’t judge. That’s not our job. In my experience it seems to be the ones who carry the most laughter are sometimes carrying the most pain also. I believe in God and he says in the Bible that he will never give us anything that is greater than us. Too much for us to deal with. Too big a burden. This is something I try to keep in mind and it certainly isn’t easy. It is difficult when you look at what is going on in the world. But having something to believe in, to hold on to and to trust in is a great comfort to me. It gives me faith that there is definitely good in mankind. We are capable of kindness, of love, of compassion. There is hope for us. There is hope for me and there is hope for you. We can only be responsible for our action and how we treat people. Be understanding, be kind, and know that you are not alone in your despair or in your struggles. It’s what makes us human. We need to stick together and love one another. Love is the greatest gift of all. The greatest slayer of evil. The strongest, most powerful emotion in the world. So use it, trust it and believe in it.

A drop in the ocean about Oppression of Women in the Middle East

As a young, white, Christian woman, living well submerged in Western culture, I can only comment on what I have seen and learnt on this issue. I am well aware that in Australia we live in a sheltered society, wrapped in cotton wool compared to the way a large portion of the rest of the world live, especially in the Middle East. I think the first thing to say is that when discussing such issues we must be extremely careful not to generalise when it comes to race, religion or a particular culture. I believe generalisation is just as bad as racism and that is never going to do anyone any good. It is no secret that the Middle East is predominately a Muslim society. Islam, like Christianity has many different sects. These would come from different interpretations of the Koran. Now, not all women in these countries are oppressed, or hard done by. Many of them live happy, fulfilling lives. Their lives are devoted to their families and their faith. Probably the most disturbing part of the ‘oppression factor’ is Honour Killings. These are still carried out fairly regularly. The United Nations estimates 5000 per year, but many believe it is closer to 20, 000 per year. These honour killings are the majority of the time carried out on women by a male member/s of their family. The reasoning may be, the woman is seeking divorce (even if it is in an abusive relationship), committing adultery, being involved in a sexual relationship (this includes rape), not agreeing to an arranged marriage of the family’s choice or basically any way that makes the male members of the family feel that the woman has brought shame and dishonour onto their family. These killings can sometimes be stoning to death a woman and dragging her body around the streets. A couple of years ago I watched a youtube clip of a woman who had been out on a date with a man that was not a member of the same religion. She had not had any sexual relations with the man. Her uncle went into her house and dragged her out onto the street where there was a group of at least 20 men standing around her. They threw big slabs of stone onto her time and time again as she tried to get up but kept falling to the ground. Her blood spilled onto the street. Amongst these men were police men. They were filming on their phone and watching. Finally the girl died from this stoning. They then proceeded to tie her lifeless body to the back of a truck and drag it around the streets. Perhaps as a symbol to provoke fear into others of what could happen to them if they dare defy their families/religion. It is the most sickening and horrifying this I have ever watched. The worst thing is, this kind of thing does still happen. Now be careful not to believe that these honour killings only occur within the Muslim culture, because that is not true. It is also not confined to the Middle East. But these kinds of behaviours seem to be more acceptable in this area. It is the women who live in communities like these, which still believe in this way of life that my heart aches for. This is true oppression by fear. How can women expect to break out of these cultures and societies when they are faced with not only complete disownment from their families, but a humiliating death by one of their closest family members? There is no doubt that Religion is the driving force behind such oppressive behaviours and part of the problem is that there is not a separation of religion from state. This needs to happen to allow change. There are so many things to say on this topic and I have not even begun to brush the surface of it. It is an issue that I feel extremely strongly about. I have much to learn on the issue and will continue to educate myself in this area. I think I will need to do a follow up blog soon to delve a bit deeper. Until then…

It's been a while...

I look at that picture, of you
Of how I used to be
All the memories of how I used to feel back then
They came flooding back to me
My reality 100 thousand miles from where I am today
Bent and twisted in ways I can’t even begin to explain
We laughed, we cried, we stayed that way a while
I was addicted to what I got from you
The first way I knew how to need anything so much that I couldn’t survive without it
It took a long time before the sun set on you and I
My world was plunged into darkness and I had to learn how to use my other senses
But eventually after the sun rose again, I learnt to see again.
It’s been a while, since I remembered you…

A trip down memory lane

You know what I am talking about. You look at old photos, letters, emails, sms's or the like. It may paint a warm and fuzzy picture of what life used to be. It might remind you of something bad that you repressed. More often then not, I think we romantisize things in the past, because we can no longer see the full picture. We can no longer remember all the feelings we had, both good and bad.
It's nice to look fondly back on things, but I think it's important to not fall into the trap of 'things used to be better' We are where we are in our lives now for a reason. And we shouldn't be going backward, we should be going forward. The person that we used to be was a little bit younger, and a lot less wise (we hope) than we are now.
I am a different person now than I was 5 years ago at 21. I learnt a lot of lesson's between the ages of 18 and 23. It's crazy the ammount of growing up we do. I would like to say I think I am wise now, but the truth is, I always think I am wise, and I sure as hell wasn't 10 years ago and I'm sure in another 10 years time, I won't think I was wise at 26. It's all apart of the journey we embark on.

Follow me

Follow me here, into the meadow of our rememberance. I feel your light, it’s leading me. To the place where I feel at home, again. It’s been so long, since I have felt your arms around me. Reminding me of the very essence of my being.
Even though the rain has washed over me many times since I last saw you, I can still smell you on my skin. Your eyes stare at me from across the oceans, leaving my soul bare.
Your strength keeps me from giving up, from giving in. It is for you I live. For you I would lay down my life. I forgive and love in your name.

It's Friday night. Here we are...

We all exist in this place, only space divides us. The river flows and the ocean’s roar, leaving me wondering what it all means. You my brother, are just like me. We were created, we have a purpose, and we will die.
Life is made up of random moments, of beauty and circumstance.
You were sitting there staring back at me, questioning everything that you knew about me. That’s the thing about me. I am often lost in this whirlwind of uncertainty that makes me who I am. Just when you think you have me figured out, you realise that you are only just at the beginning.
I am not afraid to be myself and all that goes with that. There is so much beauty in all the random things of this world. You just have to be willing to look for them. You have to be true to yourself or you will live with regret. Regret is a funny thing. It’s kind of a useless emotion. Unless we can use it to make us better people.

You have a crooked smile that try’s with every ounce of your being to hide who you are underneath it all. You are strong, in a way that has long been lost in this world. Your eyes share a story without you even having to open your mouth.
You are awkward in the best kind of way. A way that show’s your innocence and strength.
You are beautiful. You are really something else.
I have watched from afar as you partake on this journey called life. You are a story in itself. You are amazing personified. You have an inner light that shines like the brightest kind of light I have ever seen.
I have a memory of a feeling that I used to have in my earlier days. I felt lost and found all at the same time. I used to look at the world with the eyes of innocence and mischief all wrapped together. You never really lose that part of yourself. As we get older we are always just a slightly different version of ourselves. I think that it is important to recognise this. Sometimes we lose sight of the path that we were meant to be on. But that is really just all part of the journey. Mistakes, risk’s, chances, fate, it’s really all just what draws the map that is our life. Sometimes it seems as though the only person that truly knows us is ourselves. We are the ones that are constantly alone with our thoughts. Some are good, some are unspeakable. Change is also really important for growth. I like the saying, if nothing changes, nothing changes.
I have felt at times in my life that I don’t like the person that I am, but for the most part, I don’t mind my own company. I like to think I have a lot of depth. I am a layered person. And that is ok. I am mostly happy with who I am.
We have to wade through the lies and the truth, the misconceptions, the alternate realities, the opportunities and the choices that we are faced with day to day. Our lives aren’t written in stone, they are up to us and us alone.
Dreams are important, but it is even more important to decipher which dreams to follow and which ones are best left alone…

We go through life, all of us on different journeys. It’s funny to think that even the ones closest to us have had completely different experiences then us in life. I think you don’t fully appreciate the people you love, until you have lost someone, especially in death, or if you have realised their vulnerability. Like, for example, my Dad has had a heart attack, a stroke and major heart surgery. This has heightened my awareness of his immortality. I feel like I cherish and appreciate every moment I have with him and my Mum. They are two of the most important people to me.
I am very lucky to come from a very close family and this is extremely important to me. Friends can sometimes come and go as we travel along our paths, but if we are lucky, we will have an incredible family to stand by our sides and love us no matter what.
After my beautiful nephew Beau passed away, it made me really appreciate children a lot more. They really are so very precious. They develop a personality quite early and it really is a joy to witness this and be a part of it.
I think when you realise that you and the ones you love are mortal; you will look at the world through different eyes. Sometimes it’s hard to keep it from pulling you down, but it can open you up to beauty that you never realised was there.
I try to see the positive in every situation. This isn’t always easy either, but it is 100% do-able. I don’t care what the situation is; there is a plan in place for everyone. But of course, we still have free will, so we do choose our own paths.
Its interesting thinking about living and growing up in the Western world. We have a lot more freedom than we realise. I am still forming opinions on what I think about it. Of course, I am all for freedom. Freedom of mind, speech etc. But we also need boundaries. We need a healthy level of respect and obedience.
I think to truly believe something, you first need to understand it, question it and never make the mistake of thinking you know everything there is to know about it.
There is something dangerous about complacency. If we are happy where we are, we will never strive for more; never advance physically, intellectually, emotionally or spiritually. Maybe complacency is a noncommittal way of giving up? Hmmm. It’s interesting to think about.
These words are just non-structured thought’s of mine, spilling on the page. It’s a tiny insight into the inner workings of my very complicated mind 

Until next time......

I suppose if you really think about it, you could find some sense in it. Or would you find it senseless?
Kind of like the how if you stare at a word or picture for a long time, it becomes blurred and distorted.
That’s the way I feel about you. Your impact on me, was sometimes fleeting, sometimes lasting a lifetime.
I have always been pretty strong, self-sufficient, but that doesn’t make me immune. And that’s what a lot of people don’t understand. They either think I am unbreakable, or they make it their mission to find the cracks and start pressing on them. Just to see the leaks seeping through the sides. Hoping and praying I am fallible.
I think most of us know someone like this. If they don’t bend, never break, never fall than how can the rest of us stand a chance?
Is it wrong to think this way? Or does it make us only human? I’m not sure how I feel about that. It’s all about perspective. And then who is to say what is the right or wrong perspective. That defeats the purpose doesn’t it?
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all black and white, but we all have those moments don’t we? Where everything feels like either or?
All these questions. All these thoughts. Filling up the page before me. Words on a page to some, the inner workings of my mind ;-)

Chosen

Feeling your way through the night. Not sure if you will

even make it out alive. You have to keep your eyes open and your breath even.

You have to keep your head screwed on and trust your instincts. You can’t be

wrong. Not even once. People are relying on you. There is no time to
contemplate the idea of self-sacrifice and what that even means.



You didn’t ask for this life. It was given to you. But you

weren’t cursed. You were chosen. For a reason. There is no time for questioning
what all this means.



Sometimes it is so confusing and the burden so large that it

stops you in your tracks. You can’t be selfish or think about yourself. Because
ultimately, it isn’t about you, and you know that.



But how do you feel? I want to know how you deal with it all.

How you keep a smile on your face when I am sure that you would rather be

screaming the heaven’s down. I wonder how it feels to not have the luxury of
being humble, vulnerable.



I wonder how you would have fared if you had of been given a

different life, different choices. What sort of person would you have been? I

know you feel as though there is no one that would catch you if you fell. You

feel as though you have to be the one to hold everyone’s sky up over them. I

admire you, pity you and love you all at the same time. You amaze me.
Constantly.

Way back then

Looking back on all we were
Way back then.
I can see the innocence in our mistakes
And we were lucky we got to take them with us.
My memories stained with wide eyes and sparkling smiles
The echo of laughter and heart’s so full they almost burst
We were young
And not afraid to try, to live, to love, to fall
The world before us and the path was ours to forge
We never listened, we took risk’s that were ours alone to take
We came up for air and we are ok…

Twenty Six

Hmmm, another year older and I have to say, I don’t mind. The last ten years has definitely been a massive journey. I am learning a lot more about myself as the years go on. Especially in the past couple of years. I have learnt a lot about what makes me tick. My weaknesses and my strength’s. My hopes and dreams, in a more attainable sense.
I feel like this year and next are pivotal year’s. Getting married and moving states, planning for the future that Ben and I want. It’s very exciting and there is a lot to look forward to.
I am learning a lot about friends as well. Some friendships have strengthened greatly and some are sort of falling away. It took me a very very long time to realise that this is a natural part of life and it is ok for this to happen. Healthy even.
I have set a lot of goals for the next 8 months. Which are achievable and it will be great once I have reached them all.
The wedding planning has been a bit of a journey in itself. Mostly a really great one and I am excited for the big day to finally arrive and see how everything I have spent so much time on comes together.
I am looking forward to the new challenges that next year will bring. A new City, new house, new job. All of which are going to be great! It will be nice to be in the warmer climate and closer to my family. We will have lots more to explore and I think we are both really excited to see a lot more of Queensland. It will be fantastic to have an actual house, with more room’s and space and oh my goodness! A backyard! I am also happy to start a new job and the challenges that come with that will be welcome too...

Looking to get inspired, where am I going? To listen to some music :-)

Day 25, Your day in great detail

Well as it is only 9.51am, I will write about my day yesterday.
I woke up at about 7.30am. I got up, had a bowl of weetie bites (like weetbix, but bite sized pieces with little bits of berry in them), I had a glass of orange juice, got some shorts and a t-shirt on and put sunscreen on my face, neck and ears.
Then I got my iPod and set out for a walk. I left at 830am.
I walked through Hyde Park and all the way to Circular Quay. Then I contemplated getting a coffee, but decided to walk back into the heart of the city. So I walked up Pitt Street. Most things were still closed as it was only early. I walked around for a bit and then got a coffee and a couple of cupcakes from my beloved cupcake bakery. Vanilla Vanilla. One for me and one for Benji. So I went downstairs to the food court to have my coffee and wait for Myer to open. The lady sitting near me was chomping away on a sheet of seaweed for breakfast. It was very odd. So I texted a few of my friends to say happy Easter and inform them of what I was witnessing. Lol.
After my delicious coffee I went upstairs to Myer and went all the way to the top level to look at some books. There is a book I was trying to find about psycology, but they only really seemed to have cook books, fiction and children books. So I was a bit disappointed. I looked at some Jodi Piccoult books and then decided not to buy anything. So I went back down stairs and walked through the QVB to Town Hall train station and caught a train one stop home.
I then had a shower and lay on the lounge for a bit. Ben was doing his tax. Which is a massive task. Then I ate my cupcake and had a cup of green tea. It was amazzzzzing!
Then I proceeded to watch Supernatural for a few hours. Then I had a little nap and got ready to go to my friends house in Maroubra. I caught a taxi there, we had dinner (spag bol) and then I caught a taxi home as I wasn't feeling very well. Then Ben and I watched Three in A Bed (Which is a show about bed and breakfasts in England) and I had a glass of red wine and some chocolate and Ben has a glass of scotch and ice and we shared some cheese and bacon balls. And then we watched Escape to the Country, which we LOVE! And then we went to bed and watched an episode of As Time Goes By and then went to sleep...

I hope that is enough detail for ya :-)

Day 24, Whatever you fancy

I think a lot goes for saying about the company that we keep. It can make a huge impact of the person that you become. There are people who we respect and listen to more than others, and we don't always know why. They aren't always the right person either. There are people who we seek approval from, and they can be the most unsuspecting people. I have been thinking a lot lately about controlling what I think about. I am the type of person who is an extremely deep thinker, and I analyse a lot of things in my life. My past, present and future. Not all of these things do me good to spend time dissecting. So I was thinking that I should be controlling the amount of time I spend thinking about certain things... It's strange, I haven't ever really thought about it that way. I just thought, my mind will wander where it wants to wander and I will just go with it. It can be quite damaging. If you spend too much time on something, lies can feel like truth and things that just aren't so, turn into reality. Kind of like talking ourselves into believing a situation to be something that it isn't.
I hope this is making sense. It does in my head :-)
I just finished reading a philosophical book and it had a lot of amazing points and I swear every chapter there was something that made me think, Oh I should really blog about that! But do you think I can recall them now? No. Lol.
But they made some interesting points about music. I people have a lot of opinions about music and the effect it has on some people's moods. I remember when the Columbine Shooting happened, people were trying to blame Marilyn Manson because he was one of the artists that the boys listened too frequently. I think that is ludicrous. I absolutely think that music does effect our moods and it can definitely be in a negative sense and it CAN take control if we let it. I also think some people are more susceptible to this than others... I am one of these people. I am a complete lover of music and it is a great tool for me when I am writing. I feel a lot more inspired when I listen to music.
But overall music was quite influential back in the 60's and 70's, and longer. But it seemed to take away from the political power. People were being influenced more by the music. Free love, Drugs rock n roll etc. It's hard to think that the dribble that has leaked on to mainstream radio could have quite the same effect on today's society. But I think it does. Just in a different way.
Anyway, I thought that was something interesting to think about. I remember when I was going through a tough spot in my life and feeling quite depressed, I was careful to fill my iPod with only uplifting songs, ones that made me smile and happy. Because I knew that at that point in my life I couldn't handle being dragged into that head space caused by some of the amazing, yet slightly more philosophical (for want of a better word) that I usually listen to.

So there is my thoughts for today. Two things that can be highly influential on my life, and maybe yours. Firstly, the people that you surround yourself with, and secondly, music...

I hope you are having a lovely Good Friday!

Thank you Jesus for dying on that cross, for sacrificing your life, that I might have eternal life...

Day 23. A youtube video clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRGrNDV2mKc

Freak on a leash by Korn.

I had forgotten how much I love this video clip. There is a bullet that goes through lots of different things and then the band are playing in a black room full of bullet holes with light streaming through them.
They have also done another version on the song, which has a completely different feel to it. It is slower and softer. More mellow. Amy Lee sings with Jonathan also. It's quite good and if you are a fan of the song, it is worth a listen. Amy Lee has a pretty amazing voice and I love that she does duet's with musicians such as Korn and Seether. It would be so much fun.

I have more good video clips, but maybe I shall save those for another day..


xx

Day 19, Day 20, Day 21, Day 22

A talent of mine.
Hmmm. I like to think that I can write. And I can sing and play the piano ok. I love my piano. Ben and I bought it just before my 24th Birthday!

A hobby of mine.
Music. Listening, playing,writing! It's grand. Although most of my time is currently consumed by wedding preperations at the moment...

A recipe.
Pork Fillet with Potatoes and Balsamic Dressing

Ingredients (serves 4)
2 tbs olive oil
Leaves from 1 large sprig rosemary
4 garlic cloves, sliced
750g piece pork fi llet, trimmed
500g chat potatoes
1 red onion, cut into wedges
4 slices prosciutto
Rocket leaves, to serve
Balsamic dressing
2 1/2 tbs olive oil
1 1/2 tbs balsamic vinegar
1 tsp grainy mustard


Method
Preheat the oven to 190°C.

Mix 1 tablespoon of the olive oil with the rosemary leaves and sliced garlic.

Brush a little over the pork f llet.

Par-boil the potatoes for 10 minutes, then drain and lightly crush. Toss the potatoes and onion wedges with the remaining garlic and rosemary oil, then place on a large baking tray and roast in the oven for 25 minutes, turning occasionally.

Meanwhile, heat the remaining olive oil in a frypan over medium-high heat. Add the pork fi llet and cook for 2-3 minutes, turning to brown all over.

Season well with salt and pepper.

Remove the pork and add to the baking

tray with the potatoes and onion, and roast for the remaining cooking time (20 minutes). For the fi nal 5 minutes, add the slices of prosciutto to the tray to crisp.

While everything is cooking, make the dressing. Place the olive oil, balsamic and mustard in a jar and season with salt and pepper. Shake well.

To serve, place some rocket onto each plate and divide the potatoes and onion among them. Slice the pork thickly, place on top and drizzle with the balsamic dressing. Place a shard of crisp prosciutto on top of each.

This is one of my fav recipes. Its really delish! I suggest you give it a bash!



A website. http://www.amillionlittledetails.ca/
This is the latest wedding blog my friend suggested I check out and I am up to page 25 and so far I LOVE it :-)

Day 18 — Whatever tickles your fancy

BE THE CHANGE THAT YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD

What a great saying. This is something I often think about. It also ties in with 'Treat others the way that you would like to be treated' and 'Love thy Neighbour'.
You can start small. Use manners. All the time. Say please and thank you. Be grateful. Look on the bright side. See the good in people rather than the bad. It can make a huge difference to not only your life but every one's around you.
It's easy to see the beauty in the world, if you just look.
I think when we learn to appreciate each other and let go of our prejudice's, racism, hate and generalisation then we set each other free.
No one wants to be put in any of these categories. We are all individuals, with opinions, feelings, heartache and joy.

Try it. And smile at a stranger today, it will brighten not only their day, but yours as well :-)
Have a great day everyone! xo

Day 17 — An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)

This is Starry Night by Van Gogh or Monet. They both have two that are very similar, I believe and I only just learnt that!
I love this one and I remember is as my sister Ruth used to have an umbrella with this picture (or very similar) on it. It was really cool!




Ben and I have had a great weekend up in Brissy checking out houses. I think we looked at about 13 houses yesterday! It was pretty full on but it was really good. We found one that we absolutely loved, but we just aren't sure that the timing is right...
Time will tell...

I am feeling very blessed today.

Until tomorrow... xx

Day 15 A Fanfic and Day 16 A song that makes you cry

A Fanfic. Ok, well none springs to mind with this one, so I am going to skip it and go on to the next question.

A song that makes me cry...

"When You Come Back Down"

You got to leave me now, you got to go alone
You got to chase a dream, one that's all your own
Before it slips away
When you're flyin' high, take my heart along
I'll be the harmony to every lonely song
That you learn to play

When you're soarin' through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare
I'll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down

I'll keep lookin' up, awaitin' your return
My greatest fear will be that you will crash and burn
And I won't feel your fire
I'll be the other hand that always holds the line
Connectin' in between your sweet heart and mine
I'm strung out on that wire

And I'll be on the other end, To hear you when you call
Angel, you were born to fly, If you get too high
I'll catch you when you fall
I'll catch you when you fall

[Bridge:]
Your memory's the sunshine every new day brings
I know the sky is calling
Angel, let me help you with your wings

When you're soarin' through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare

I'll still be there
When you come back down
Take every chance you dare,
I'll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down



This song is by Nickel Creek. It's beautiful and it makes me think of Beau... I miss him SO much...

Another song of their's that makes me cry and makes me think of Beau is 'Out of the Woods' I hoped I could wish him out of the woods and into a picture with my sister so she didn't have to hurt and we didn't have to lose him...

I was definately blessed to have known him...

Day 13 and Day 14 A fictional book and a non-fictional book

Fictional - I remember reading a book years ago called Peep Show. If I remember correctly it was about a girl who worked for some sort of production company and her bosses came up with an idea to put hidden camera's around her house to secretly film the going on's of her flat mates. It was a great book. In the end they wanted to turn it into a book and they had to reveal what they had been doing to her roomies and they were understandably angry... Anywho, it was a good read...

Non-Fiction - A Case for Christ by Lee Strobel. I love this book. I have read it twice and I really think its amazing. Lee used to be an atheist. One day his wife came home and declared that she was a Christian. After a couple of years he decides he needs to investigate it for himself. So he travels around the country interviewing these amazingly brilliant men and asking them difficult questions about Jesus' life. I found it very educational. He was asking questions that I haven't even thought of before. He is a journalist and a lawyer and he just has a really great way of writing and explaining things. He has also written other books which I also enjoy. I highly suggest looking him up...