We all exist in this place, only space divides us. The river flows and the ocean’s roar, leaving me wondering what it all means. You my brother, are just like me. We were created, we have a purpose, and we will die.
Life is made up of random moments, of beauty and circumstance.
You were sitting there staring back at me, questioning everything that you knew about me. That’s the thing about me. I am often lost in this whirlwind of uncertainty that makes me who I am. Just when you think you have me figured out, you realise that you are only just at the beginning.
I am not afraid to be myself and all that goes with that. There is so much beauty in all the random things of this world. You just have to be willing to look for them. You have to be true to yourself or you will live with regret. Regret is a funny thing. It’s kind of a useless emotion. Unless we can use it to make us better people.
You have a crooked smile that try’s with every ounce of your being to hide who you are underneath it all. You are strong, in a way that has long been lost in this world. Your eyes share a story without you even having to open your mouth.
You are awkward in the best kind of way. A way that show’s your innocence and strength.
You are beautiful. You are really something else.
I have watched from afar as you partake on this journey called life. You are a story in itself. You are amazing personified. You have an inner light that shines like the brightest kind of light I have ever seen.
I have a memory of a feeling that I used to have in my earlier days. I felt lost and found all at the same time. I used to look at the world with the eyes of innocence and mischief all wrapped together. You never really lose that part of yourself. As we get older we are always just a slightly different version of ourselves. I think that it is important to recognise this. Sometimes we lose sight of the path that we were meant to be on. But that is really just all part of the journey. Mistakes, risk’s, chances, fate, it’s really all just what draws the map that is our life. Sometimes it seems as though the only person that truly knows us is ourselves. We are the ones that are constantly alone with our thoughts. Some are good, some are unspeakable. Change is also really important for growth. I like the saying, if nothing changes, nothing changes.
I have felt at times in my life that I don’t like the person that I am, but for the most part, I don’t mind my own company. I like to think I have a lot of depth. I am a layered person. And that is ok. I am mostly happy with who I am.
We have to wade through the lies and the truth, the misconceptions, the alternate realities, the opportunities and the choices that we are faced with day to day. Our lives aren’t written in stone, they are up to us and us alone.
Dreams are important, but it is even more important to decipher which dreams to follow and which ones are best left alone…
Friday, September 2, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
We go through life, all of us on different journeys. It’s funny to think that even the ones closest to us have had completely different experiences then us in life. I think you don’t fully appreciate the people you love, until you have lost someone, especially in death, or if you have realised their vulnerability. Like, for example, my Dad has had a heart attack, a stroke and major heart surgery. This has heightened my awareness of his immortality. I feel like I cherish and appreciate every moment I have with him and my Mum. They are two of the most important people to me.
I am very lucky to come from a very close family and this is extremely important to me. Friends can sometimes come and go as we travel along our paths, but if we are lucky, we will have an incredible family to stand by our sides and love us no matter what.
After my beautiful nephew Beau passed away, it made me really appreciate children a lot more. They really are so very precious. They develop a personality quite early and it really is a joy to witness this and be a part of it.
I think when you realise that you and the ones you love are mortal; you will look at the world through different eyes. Sometimes it’s hard to keep it from pulling you down, but it can open you up to beauty that you never realised was there.
I try to see the positive in every situation. This isn’t always easy either, but it is 100% do-able. I don’t care what the situation is; there is a plan in place for everyone. But of course, we still have free will, so we do choose our own paths.
Its interesting thinking about living and growing up in the Western world. We have a lot more freedom than we realise. I am still forming opinions on what I think about it. Of course, I am all for freedom. Freedom of mind, speech etc. But we also need boundaries. We need a healthy level of respect and obedience.
I think to truly believe something, you first need to understand it, question it and never make the mistake of thinking you know everything there is to know about it.
There is something dangerous about complacency. If we are happy where we are, we will never strive for more; never advance physically, intellectually, emotionally or spiritually. Maybe complacency is a noncommittal way of giving up? Hmmm. It’s interesting to think about.
These words are just non-structured thought’s of mine, spilling on the page. It’s a tiny insight into the inner workings of my very complicated mind
Until next time......
I am very lucky to come from a very close family and this is extremely important to me. Friends can sometimes come and go as we travel along our paths, but if we are lucky, we will have an incredible family to stand by our sides and love us no matter what.
After my beautiful nephew Beau passed away, it made me really appreciate children a lot more. They really are so very precious. They develop a personality quite early and it really is a joy to witness this and be a part of it.
I think when you realise that you and the ones you love are mortal; you will look at the world through different eyes. Sometimes it’s hard to keep it from pulling you down, but it can open you up to beauty that you never realised was there.
I try to see the positive in every situation. This isn’t always easy either, but it is 100% do-able. I don’t care what the situation is; there is a plan in place for everyone. But of course, we still have free will, so we do choose our own paths.
Its interesting thinking about living and growing up in the Western world. We have a lot more freedom than we realise. I am still forming opinions on what I think about it. Of course, I am all for freedom. Freedom of mind, speech etc. But we also need boundaries. We need a healthy level of respect and obedience.
I think to truly believe something, you first need to understand it, question it and never make the mistake of thinking you know everything there is to know about it.
There is something dangerous about complacency. If we are happy where we are, we will never strive for more; never advance physically, intellectually, emotionally or spiritually. Maybe complacency is a noncommittal way of giving up? Hmmm. It’s interesting to think about.
These words are just non-structured thought’s of mine, spilling on the page. It’s a tiny insight into the inner workings of my very complicated mind
Until next time......
Monday, July 25, 2011
I suppose if you really think about it, you could find some sense in it. Or would you find it senseless?
Kind of like the how if you stare at a word or picture for a long time, it becomes blurred and distorted.
That’s the way I feel about you. Your impact on me, was sometimes fleeting, sometimes lasting a lifetime.
I have always been pretty strong, self-sufficient, but that doesn’t make me immune. And that’s what a lot of people don’t understand. They either think I am unbreakable, or they make it their mission to find the cracks and start pressing on them. Just to see the leaks seeping through the sides. Hoping and praying I am fallible.
I think most of us know someone like this. If they don’t bend, never break, never fall than how can the rest of us stand a chance?
Is it wrong to think this way? Or does it make us only human? I’m not sure how I feel about that. It’s all about perspective. And then who is to say what is the right or wrong perspective. That defeats the purpose doesn’t it?
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all black and white, but we all have those moments don’t we? Where everything feels like either or?
All these questions. All these thoughts. Filling up the page before me. Words on a page to some, the inner workings of my mind ;-)
Kind of like the how if you stare at a word or picture for a long time, it becomes blurred and distorted.
That’s the way I feel about you. Your impact on me, was sometimes fleeting, sometimes lasting a lifetime.
I have always been pretty strong, self-sufficient, but that doesn’t make me immune. And that’s what a lot of people don’t understand. They either think I am unbreakable, or they make it their mission to find the cracks and start pressing on them. Just to see the leaks seeping through the sides. Hoping and praying I am fallible.
I think most of us know someone like this. If they don’t bend, never break, never fall than how can the rest of us stand a chance?
Is it wrong to think this way? Or does it make us only human? I’m not sure how I feel about that. It’s all about perspective. And then who is to say what is the right or wrong perspective. That defeats the purpose doesn’t it?
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all black and white, but we all have those moments don’t we? Where everything feels like either or?
All these questions. All these thoughts. Filling up the page before me. Words on a page to some, the inner workings of my mind ;-)
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Chosen
Feeling your way through the night. Not sure if you will
even make it out alive. You have to keep your eyes open and your breath even.
You have to keep your head screwed on and trust your instincts. You can’t be
wrong. Not even once. People are relying on you. There is no time to
contemplate the idea of self-sacrifice and what that even means.
You didn’t ask for this life. It was given to you. But you
weren’t cursed. You were chosen. For a reason. There is no time for questioning
what all this means.
Sometimes it is so confusing and the burden so large that it
stops you in your tracks. You can’t be selfish or think about yourself. Because
ultimately, it isn’t about you, and you know that.
But how do you feel? I want to know how you deal with it all.
How you keep a smile on your face when I am sure that you would rather be
screaming the heaven’s down. I wonder how it feels to not have the luxury of
being humble, vulnerable.
I wonder how you would have fared if you had of been given a
different life, different choices. What sort of person would you have been? I
know you feel as though there is no one that would catch you if you fell. You
feel as though you have to be the one to hold everyone’s sky up over them. I
admire you, pity you and love you all at the same time. You amaze me.
Constantly.
even make it out alive. You have to keep your eyes open and your breath even.
You have to keep your head screwed on and trust your instincts. You can’t be
wrong. Not even once. People are relying on you. There is no time to
contemplate the idea of self-sacrifice and what that even means.
You didn’t ask for this life. It was given to you. But you
weren’t cursed. You were chosen. For a reason. There is no time for questioning
what all this means.
Sometimes it is so confusing and the burden so large that it
stops you in your tracks. You can’t be selfish or think about yourself. Because
ultimately, it isn’t about you, and you know that.
But how do you feel? I want to know how you deal with it all.
How you keep a smile on your face when I am sure that you would rather be
screaming the heaven’s down. I wonder how it feels to not have the luxury of
being humble, vulnerable.
I wonder how you would have fared if you had of been given a
different life, different choices. What sort of person would you have been? I
know you feel as though there is no one that would catch you if you fell. You
feel as though you have to be the one to hold everyone’s sky up over them. I
admire you, pity you and love you all at the same time. You amaze me.
Constantly.
Way back then
Looking back on all we were
Way back then.
I can see the innocence in our mistakes
And we were lucky we got to take them with us.
My memories stained with wide eyes and sparkling smiles
The echo of laughter and heart’s so full they almost burst
We were young
And not afraid to try, to live, to love, to fall
The world before us and the path was ours to forge
We never listened, we took risk’s that were ours alone to take
We came up for air and we are ok…
Way back then.
I can see the innocence in our mistakes
And we were lucky we got to take them with us.
My memories stained with wide eyes and sparkling smiles
The echo of laughter and heart’s so full they almost burst
We were young
And not afraid to try, to live, to love, to fall
The world before us and the path was ours to forge
We never listened, we took risk’s that were ours alone to take
We came up for air and we are ok…
Twenty Six
Hmmm, another year older and I have to say, I don’t mind. The last ten years has definitely been a massive journey. I am learning a lot more about myself as the years go on. Especially in the past couple of years. I have learnt a lot about what makes me tick. My weaknesses and my strength’s. My hopes and dreams, in a more attainable sense.
I feel like this year and next are pivotal year’s. Getting married and moving states, planning for the future that Ben and I want. It’s very exciting and there is a lot to look forward to.
I am learning a lot about friends as well. Some friendships have strengthened greatly and some are sort of falling away. It took me a very very long time to realise that this is a natural part of life and it is ok for this to happen. Healthy even.
I have set a lot of goals for the next 8 months. Which are achievable and it will be great once I have reached them all.
The wedding planning has been a bit of a journey in itself. Mostly a really great one and I am excited for the big day to finally arrive and see how everything I have spent so much time on comes together.
I am looking forward to the new challenges that next year will bring. A new City, new house, new job. All of which are going to be great! It will be nice to be in the warmer climate and closer to my family. We will have lots more to explore and I think we are both really excited to see a lot more of Queensland. It will be fantastic to have an actual house, with more room’s and space and oh my goodness! A backyard! I am also happy to start a new job and the challenges that come with that will be welcome too...
Looking to get inspired, where am I going? To listen to some music :-)
I feel like this year and next are pivotal year’s. Getting married and moving states, planning for the future that Ben and I want. It’s very exciting and there is a lot to look forward to.
I am learning a lot about friends as well. Some friendships have strengthened greatly and some are sort of falling away. It took me a very very long time to realise that this is a natural part of life and it is ok for this to happen. Healthy even.
I have set a lot of goals for the next 8 months. Which are achievable and it will be great once I have reached them all.
The wedding planning has been a bit of a journey in itself. Mostly a really great one and I am excited for the big day to finally arrive and see how everything I have spent so much time on comes together.
I am looking forward to the new challenges that next year will bring. A new City, new house, new job. All of which are going to be great! It will be nice to be in the warmer climate and closer to my family. We will have lots more to explore and I think we are both really excited to see a lot more of Queensland. It will be fantastic to have an actual house, with more room’s and space and oh my goodness! A backyard! I am also happy to start a new job and the challenges that come with that will be welcome too...
Looking to get inspired, where am I going? To listen to some music :-)
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Day 25, Your day in great detail
Well as it is only 9.51am, I will write about my day yesterday.
I woke up at about 7.30am. I got up, had a bowl of weetie bites (like weetbix, but bite sized pieces with little bits of berry in them), I had a glass of orange juice, got some shorts and a t-shirt on and put sunscreen on my face, neck and ears.
Then I got my iPod and set out for a walk. I left at 830am.
I walked through Hyde Park and all the way to Circular Quay. Then I contemplated getting a coffee, but decided to walk back into the heart of the city. So I walked up Pitt Street. Most things were still closed as it was only early. I walked around for a bit and then got a coffee and a couple of cupcakes from my beloved cupcake bakery. Vanilla Vanilla. One for me and one for Benji. So I went downstairs to the food court to have my coffee and wait for Myer to open. The lady sitting near me was chomping away on a sheet of seaweed for breakfast. It was very odd. So I texted a few of my friends to say happy Easter and inform them of what I was witnessing. Lol.
After my delicious coffee I went upstairs to Myer and went all the way to the top level to look at some books. There is a book I was trying to find about psycology, but they only really seemed to have cook books, fiction and children books. So I was a bit disappointed. I looked at some Jodi Piccoult books and then decided not to buy anything. So I went back down stairs and walked through the QVB to Town Hall train station and caught a train one stop home.
I then had a shower and lay on the lounge for a bit. Ben was doing his tax. Which is a massive task. Then I ate my cupcake and had a cup of green tea. It was amazzzzzing!
Then I proceeded to watch Supernatural for a few hours. Then I had a little nap and got ready to go to my friends house in Maroubra. I caught a taxi there, we had dinner (spag bol) and then I caught a taxi home as I wasn't feeling very well. Then Ben and I watched Three in A Bed (Which is a show about bed and breakfasts in England) and I had a glass of red wine and some chocolate and Ben has a glass of scotch and ice and we shared some cheese and bacon balls. And then we watched Escape to the Country, which we LOVE! And then we went to bed and watched an episode of As Time Goes By and then went to sleep...
I hope that is enough detail for ya :-)
I woke up at about 7.30am. I got up, had a bowl of weetie bites (like weetbix, but bite sized pieces with little bits of berry in them), I had a glass of orange juice, got some shorts and a t-shirt on and put sunscreen on my face, neck and ears.
Then I got my iPod and set out for a walk. I left at 830am.
I walked through Hyde Park and all the way to Circular Quay. Then I contemplated getting a coffee, but decided to walk back into the heart of the city. So I walked up Pitt Street. Most things were still closed as it was only early. I walked around for a bit and then got a coffee and a couple of cupcakes from my beloved cupcake bakery. Vanilla Vanilla. One for me and one for Benji. So I went downstairs to the food court to have my coffee and wait for Myer to open. The lady sitting near me was chomping away on a sheet of seaweed for breakfast. It was very odd. So I texted a few of my friends to say happy Easter and inform them of what I was witnessing. Lol.
After my delicious coffee I went upstairs to Myer and went all the way to the top level to look at some books. There is a book I was trying to find about psycology, but they only really seemed to have cook books, fiction and children books. So I was a bit disappointed. I looked at some Jodi Piccoult books and then decided not to buy anything. So I went back down stairs and walked through the QVB to Town Hall train station and caught a train one stop home.
I then had a shower and lay on the lounge for a bit. Ben was doing his tax. Which is a massive task. Then I ate my cupcake and had a cup of green tea. It was amazzzzzing!
Then I proceeded to watch Supernatural for a few hours. Then I had a little nap and got ready to go to my friends house in Maroubra. I caught a taxi there, we had dinner (spag bol) and then I caught a taxi home as I wasn't feeling very well. Then Ben and I watched Three in A Bed (Which is a show about bed and breakfasts in England) and I had a glass of red wine and some chocolate and Ben has a glass of scotch and ice and we shared some cheese and bacon balls. And then we watched Escape to the Country, which we LOVE! And then we went to bed and watched an episode of As Time Goes By and then went to sleep...
I hope that is enough detail for ya :-)
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