Depression, Suicide, Robin Williams and what we can do about it...

When I was 17 years old, a friend of mine took his own life. It knocked me, deeply confusing me. I had been with him the night before. He was telling me of things he was looking forward to in the future. He seemed fine to me. He was the one who was always making us laugh. He left no note. No explanation. It was very difficult to come to terms with. It makes me really sad now thinking about how it is over 10 years on and the problems that he had then, whatever they may have been would of most likely been a distant memory. I do not know if it was a spur of the moment thing, or if he had depression and had been hurting deeply for quite some time. Masking it with his beautiful way of making everyone around him feel good. Back then I didn’t really understand depression at all. I remember driving around after the funeral with a couple of friends and talking about the feeling of wanting to kill yourself. When I said I had never experienced this feeling, I was met with shocked and disbelieving responses. I had experienced difficult times in my life, deep sadness and the feeling of being lost. But I had never considered taking my own life. Now, nearly 12 years on and I have a better understanding of depression and I have experienced the feeling of not wanting to be alive anymore. I now know what it is like to want to kill myself, to end it all. I believe there are different types of depression. Clinical/chemical depression and circumstantial depression. Both are real and have massive effect over your emotions, the way you live life, see yourself, the future and others. Something I didn’t know is that if you are depressed and it goes on too long it can affect the chemicals in your brain that are responsible for stabilising your emotions, your happiness etc. This is why it is important to seek treatment if you are feeling down for too long. Feeling as though you can’t get happy about anything, despair in every situation, you can’t look forward to anything, you are tired all the time, you don’t see a point or a purpose. Treatment may include medication or it may be exercise more, do something to ensure you laugh (they have workshops in laughter. Yes, it’s true), see a Counsellor, Psychologist, Psychiatrist, or just talk to someone you trust. There are lots of things you can try. You have to consciously be proactive in pulling yourself out of the depths of this pit that can drown you if you let it. Many people have been saddened at the passing of actor Robin Williams. It is a huge loss that has clearly impacted an enormous amount of people around the world. Annie asks “If this world is cruel enough that a soul as beautiful and uplifting as Robin Williams can’t survive in it, what are we, as a human race doing wrong?” This question has so many facets for me and I could really just write about it all day. There are a lot of extremely worrying and saddening things happening in the world at the moment and the feeling of despair for my fellow humans is greatly weighing on my heart also. Robin Williams did great things. He made us laugh. He lifted up our spirits when we were children, when we were teenagers and when we were adults. He will continue to do so with the legacy that he has left behind. Suicide is a very personal decision. A decision that is the result of a battle within ones mind. One that the people that they leave behind often struggle to understand. What’s important to remember is that everyone is fighting their own demons. In a way that is very real to them. This is why I believe it is important to always be as kind as you can be. Don’t judge. That’s not our job. In my experience it seems to be the ones who carry the most laughter are sometimes carrying the most pain also. I believe in God and he says in the Bible that he will never give us anything that is greater than us. Too much for us to deal with. Too big a burden. This is something I try to keep in mind and it certainly isn’t easy. It is difficult when you look at what is going on in the world. But having something to believe in, to hold on to and to trust in is a great comfort to me. It gives me faith that there is definitely good in mankind. We are capable of kindness, of love, of compassion. There is hope for us. There is hope for me and there is hope for you. We can only be responsible for our action and how we treat people. Be understanding, be kind, and know that you are not alone in your despair or in your struggles. It’s what makes us human. We need to stick together and love one another. Love is the greatest gift of all. The greatest slayer of evil. The strongest, most powerful emotion in the world. So use it, trust it and believe in it.