Today

I thought about you today as I do every once in a while. But lately its been a lot. Often, and continuous. I wonder where we went wrong somehow or is it just burned into my core to fail. I wish I could master the art of making everyone I care about happy, but who am I fooling?
I wish I knew what to do to make things better for you, for me. And I hate to face the fact that maybe its me that's pulling you down.
I lay awake and I try to figure it out. But its impossible to solve.
Hurting you is what I'm good at. What kind of attribute is that?! I always have felt fiercely protective of you. You have a secured place in my heart forever.

I found a song that I think perfectly describes me. Crash, by Cavo. Its talking about a car wreck haha.

"Your a beautiful wreck, now your out of control, crossing the double lines. Your a perfect disaster, the road to catastrophe, don't stop for the signs. Heart break waiting to happen, headlights cut through the rain, tears hit the windshield and I cant look away. Every mile gets you further away from the past. Feels like your shattered and covered in broken glass. I'll be here the next time you crash. Time turns to rust and its hard for you to trust, every turn, every shoulder you feel, I'm right here when its just to much, you can let me take the wheel."

Let me introduce myself. I am Fearless, or is that what I want you to think? I am a bad speller, I am passionate, I have a heart and I have heart ache. I am a deep thinker and I have a dark place, which I think every creative person has. There are very few people in this world that understand me, including myself. Maybe you can help me with that :-)
I am here to share my thoughts and feelings. As irrational and crazy as they may be. Cos there doesn't seem to be many people that will listen for long anymore... I stuff up time and time again and I cant believe I haven't learnt by now?! I believe in Heaven and Hell and in my life I have experienced a part of each. I love God and I cant wait to see what his Kingdom is like :-)
So here we go.. Lets start this journey...